This actually happened sometime in September, I’m just lazy about writing things up. And it’s another shopping story. I guess it’s the extended contact with the homobaboonians that does it.

So I’m in the chemists, or somewhere like that, and while I’m browsing round, I can hear these two chicks discussing what to get another friend for her birthday, or her wedding, or whatever.

After a lengthy discussion about how weird this chick is for not liking facials (‘oh my gawd, that’s really weird, what kind of person doesn’t like facials?’), one of them suggests an expensive lipstick, ‘because that’s the kind of special treat that you never think to get yourself, so it’s nice if someone else gets it for you’. The second chick says, ‘yeah, that’s good, cos she won’t even go to Safeway at 10 o’clock at night without lippie on’.

The first chick ponders this for a while, giving me time to think ‘cool, maybe she’s going to say something about how ridiculous it is to put on lipstick to go to a twenty-four hour supermarket…’.

However, when she eventually opens her mouth it’s to say, ‘Really? Oh, that’s good‘ in such a firm tone of approval and understanding that all my hopes for humanity are dashed.

Another shopping tale! Give me a break, it’s post-xmas. In [toy chain store], there were three different dancing baby toys. Two electronic, one that sticks onto your car window. Ugh!

And this letter was in Who:

As a young girl growing up in Canada I idolised Michael J. Fox,

a Canadian who made it big in Hollywood through hard work

and determination. Learning he had Parkinson’s shot to the

very core of who I am and how I viewed this world.

 

[rest cut]

 

Sad Git, Miranda, NSW

Like, great. Maybe you should get out more.

Buying that ‘fresh’ pasta in the chilled section of the supermarket today, I come across this month’s official Scary Product tm. Ready for it?

Pre-made cheese on toast. Yep, it’s pre-toasted bread with cheese pre-melted on top. You don’t cook under the griller, you cook in the oven. It takes six minutes once the oven’s up to temperature. So not only do you have to wait half an hour for the oven to warm up, you have to wait six minutes for it to cook. That’s about thirty-three minutes longer than it’d take to make it the normal way under the griller. And the best thing is the price – from memory, it was about $2.50, which is a hell of a lot more expensive than a loaf of bread; and given that you only get 8 slices, a lot more expensive than cheese.