In domestic news, I bought toilet paper the other day. The slogan is “puppies on a roll”, which I find deeply disturbing. I don’t know whether it’s the idea of puppies going almost up your bum, or wiping poo on puppies that is more wrong.

“Our opponents have dredged up this kind of thing every time Bush has run for office,” Bush campaign strategist Matthew Dowd said. “We’ve faced down widely reported, fully researched, carefully documented accounts of Bush’s alcoholism, drug use, private-sector business failings, ignorance in matters of state, smug arrogance, and general self-serving lackadaisical behavior. So I’m hardly worried. An overwhelming mass of published information like this has never stopped Americans from voting for him before.” Hopefully the Onion doesn’t speak the truth.

“Archaeologists in Germany say they may have found a lavatory where Martin Luther launched the Reformation of the Christian church in the 16th Century.

The scholar suffered from constipation and spent many hours in contemplation on the toilet seat.” (bbc)