February 11, 2002, 11:27am. I missed the Opening Ceremony of the Winter Olympics, so this charming moment was brought to my attention via The Age online: “The Iranian team marched out in the parade of nations to be greeted by American broadcaster NBC referring to the competitors as part of President Bush’s “axis of evil”.”

I was going to avoid mentioning the Olympics, but it’s hard to avoid them over here, so here goes. What the hell was with the men’s ice hockey team lighting the flame? Is the US so desperate to remember that they’ve managed to sort-of win a war before? Ra ra ra, they beat the Russians in a hockey game. They still can’t find Osama Bin Laden.

February 11, 2002, 9:30am. The Age with a vag shot? Things have changed since I left Melbourne.

I’ve been doing some of those ‘personality tests’ to pick up nice things about myself to write on my resume. A lot of the American ones ask what race you are, and that really freaks me out. What does it matter to my results? Or do they use it for agglomerate data? Or is it a completely normal question? (And I thought it was bad they they ask what sex you are, as if that mattered!)

Speaking of race, CNN can’t spell Niger.

Maybe the ‘race’ question isn’t so offensive after all – later on in one of the tests, ‘Casino Gambling’ was included as a possible ‘Investing and Money’ interest.