On 29 Jan 2004 Camilla from England asked

Dear Departed Di,
How does one keep you-know-who happy when he’s cracked the shits?

Regards and no hard feelings,

Camilla

Piss off, bitch!

On 15 Jan 2004 Treasca (hotstyle06@POPULARFREEEMAIL.com)
from canada(ontario) asked

Dear Departed Di,
if you like a guy, how do you try to see if he likes you back?

First, check that he doesn’t have his unattractive and unsuitable ex-girlfriend stashed somewhere around the palace. I mean place.

On 5 Dec 2003 beatriz (bea_the_short_1) from santa fe nm asked

Dear Departed Di,
how did you start your career?
thank you very much

My ‘career’?

On 13 Nov 2003 Amanda from Lincoln,RI,USA asked

Dear Departed Di,
My friend’s boyfriend likes me. And I like hime back. Now we’re going out and I broke her heart. I feel really bad, but her ex boyfriend said he doesn’t like her anymore even though she wants to go out with him. I was told to break up with him so that my friend could get back together with him. He and I are already at second base, and I wanna break up with him, but I don’t wanna. You know waht I mean? We’re too far to turn back now. I just found out yesterday that my friends older brother got everyone in my school to ignore me when I pass by. Everyone hates me and they wanna kick my a**. What should I do? I feel guilty enough.
Luv, Amanda, age 14

Goodness, Amanda. Never dump a friend for a lover.

On 21 Sep 2003 Cortney (wizardprincess89@AWELLKNOWNSITE.co.uk) from USA asked

Dear Departed Di,
I LOVE YOU you are like a second mother to me I know everything about I want to be just like you when I get older but I have a question do you have to be famous to be loved because you love the sick and dying? because thats what I want to do travel and heal the wounded yup just like you LOVE U see you when I die lol

Cortney, is that really how you spell your name? Gracious.

Anyway. Some punctuation would really help me here, but the answer is, of course you don’t have to be popular to be loved.

P.S. Cortney, remember that God kills a kitten every time you say ‘lol’ but you’re not actually laughing.

On 21 Sep 2003 cortney from Usa asked

Dear Departed Di,
my name is cortney and I Love you very much you are like a second mom I have pictures of you everywhere please is it possible to be not royal or rich to be some one popular because they help the people who need it? And when I get older my job is going to be just like yours bye

If there’s one thing my life demonstrates, it’s that doing good is its own reward.

On 7 Sep 2003 Carmen (cln4131984@AWELLKNOWNSITE.com) from USA asked

Dear Departed Di,
I love you!

I love you too, sweetie.

On 5 Sep 2003 Les McLesbian from Lezzyburg, Lesbo City, Lesbania asked

Dear Princess Di,

Are you a thespian?

Yours,

Les.

Dear Les,
No, but I believe one of my former brothers-in-law was.

On 4 Sep 2003 courge the cowraly dog from nowhere,kansas asked

Dear who ever you are
don’t you think writing this stuff may be ofensive to those who actually knew Princess Di?

I’m sure they’re glad I’m not bored in the after-life. Thanks for caring!