On 16 Feb 2005 Lady Elspeth Lardaceous-Ninnyhammer from Melbourne-on-Yarra, Berks. asked

Dear Departed Di,
Can you suggest an appropriate wedding gift for a couple of advanced years? It is the second or third wedding for each partner and one doesn’t want to offend, but neither does one want to throw good money after bad. Answer by April 8 please.

On 14 Feb 2005 marina manan asked

Dear Departed Di,
What do you think about this April marriage of your ex-husband?

Who cares what the old tampon-wannabe does? She clearly has terrible hair, and they’ll look like a couple of old soaks in their wedding photos.

On 12 Feb 2005, n campbell from barking england asked

Dear Departed Di,
I wish you could that wedding, and make sure charles find another bride.

Could… what? Could… haunt that wedding? Cater for that wedding? That missing word is far too intriguing. If only I could use my ghostly powers to find out what you meant to say.

On 5 Jan 2005 Alam from New York, New York asked

Dear Departed Di,
From what I can see, you haven’t answered a new question in some time. Are you really dead now?
Or have you just lost interest?

Well spotted, Alam. I did lose interest for a while. I’ve been consoling Linda McCartney, Jimi Hendrix and Mozart wouldn’t let her play tambourine while they jammed. They even told the “dog with wings” joke.