On 1 September 2005 Anonymous from Anonymous wrote

Dear Departed Di,
Whoever is doing this must have a very morbid sense of humor. Have any of you ever thought about her “boys” you all ask so many questions about? Have you ever thought how much pain this website could bring them!?!

Dear Anonymous from Anonymous,

Rather less pain than a Chinese burn, I’m told.

By the way, I don’t believe I ever came across ‘Anonymous’ on my many travels. Is it a city within the UK, or perhaps in the United States?

Yours sincerely, Diana.

P.S. We spell it ‘humour’.

On 24 August 2005 Micki from Sheffield, U.K. wrote

Dear Departed Di,
It has been my pleasure to surf through this site and really enjoyed it.
On a serious note, i have always believed that the world to come lends us many opportunities, which i notice you are utilising to its maximum. Keep up your good work. By the way, Kate really looks good and hope that William will get her, unless Harry nicks her.
Regards

Dear Micki,

Thank you very much. Your message reminds me that I must call the “Heat” subscription offices as I so rarely receive my copy.

Yours sincerely, Diana.

On 6 August 2005 jhon wrote

Dear Departed Di,
your sexy

Dear jhon,

Thank you very much. I’m sure you meant to add, “much sexier than that weather-beaten, horse-faced old harridan” so we’ll take that as read.

Yours sincerely, Diana.

On 6 August 2005 dianaspeaks wrote

Dear Departed Di,
Please do not insult me..www.dianaspeaks .tk
Thankyou

Dear dianaspeaks,

Talk to the immacutately manicured hand, lady.

Yours sincerely, Diana.

One day later, and Ashley seems to have changed her attitude. His attitude? It’s so difficult to tell with kids today. Perhaps they are angry that I wasn’t able to respond immediately but I was helping clean the goldfish pond and really couldn’t be spared.

On 4 August 2005 ashley from london wrote

Dear Departed Di,
you fukker di

Dear Ashley,

Fuck you very much.

Yours sincerely, Diana.

On 4 August 2005 ashley from liverpool asked

Dear Departed Di,
are you realy dead

Dear Ashley,

Have educational standards fallen so far since my death? Even if you can’t spell, surely you can use a spell checker.

Regardless, yes, I am really dead. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you.

Yours sincerely, Diana.

On 4 August 2005 brendan from liverpool wrote

Dear Departed Di,
you are realy pretty

Dear Brendan,

Thank you very much.

Regardless, I’m still dead. Perhaps you could channel your grief into your school work and encourage your classmates to learn the correct spelling of ‘really’.

Yours sincerely, Diana.

On 18 July 2005 Mercedes Filho from Newark, New Jersey, USA asked

Dear Departed Di,
Will I ever have sex again?

Dear Mercedes,

A lady, and indeed, a Princess, doesn’t discuss such matters in public. However, if all else fails, there’s always masturbation.

Yours sincerely, Diana

On 1 July 2005 Raymond from Malta asked

Dear Departed Di,

Happy Birthday Diana,I hope you are enjoying your Birthday in heaven …………

Thank you, Raymond.

I must apologise for my belated response, I have been busy with a Feasibility Study regarding opening a American Style Nail Bar in Heaven. I have a friend who lives in Hackney, and she tells me they are very popular.

On 16 Feb 2005 Raymond from Malta asked

Dear Departed Di,
Don`t let your ex husband married again,because i thing he have something to do with your death.

Well, Raymond, the thing is, I’m dead. There’s not much I can do about it.

Thanks for reminding me, too. Now I just feel worse.