On 5 Mar 2004 Janet asked

Dear Departed Di,
my boy friend cheats on me what should i do?

Dump his cheating arse.

On 12 Feb 2004 fred from jack asked

Dear Departed Di,
how the fuck can u speak if u r fuckin dead

I’m not speaking, I’m typing. Fucker.

On 9 Feb 2004 AJmal Khan from UK asked

Dear Departed Di,
You where very good friends with Michael Jackson. Do you feel sorry for him because the press hunt him like they hunted you?

Aj

I have no sympathy whatsoever for him.

On 8 Feb 2004 jill (stellazinto@dslextreme.NOTHING) from simi ca asked

Dear Departed Di,
should i switcj spots

You called me back from the dead to ask me that?

Dear Linda from Belleview , fl, I hope you’re feeling better now.

On 29 Jan 2004 Camilla from England asked

Dear Departed Di,
How does one keep you-know-who happy when he’s cracked the shits?

Regards and no hard feelings,

Camilla

Piss off, bitch!

On 15 Jan 2004 Treasca (hotstyle06@POPULARFREEEMAIL.com)
from canada(ontario) asked

Dear Departed Di,
if you like a guy, how do you try to see if he likes you back?

First, check that he doesn’t have his unattractive and unsuitable ex-girlfriend stashed somewhere around the palace. I mean place.