On 21 Aug 2003 helovesme from oz asked
Dear Departed Di,
lately my boyfriend has expressed an interest in a particular fantasy he’s had for a while. i won’t say what it is…i’d probably be arrested! it’s not that gross but….i don’t know…what should i do?
As an Orstralian, you’re probably a republican, so as you can’t lie back and think of England, do it if you’d enjoy it. Otherwise, don’t bother.
On 14 Aug 2003 A. Hussy from Melbourne asked
Dear Departed Di,
If one of my ova eggs drops in to the toilet then a guy wanks in the toilet can the egg get fertalized in the toilet
Hello Hussy. Are you trying to tell me that’s where your baby came from?
On 12 Aug 2003 tracy from Mahanoy City, Pennsilvana U.S. asked
Dear Departed Di,
I have a kinda boyfriend but he is weird some times he tells me he likes me but when other people are around he seas we are not going out what should i think?
Dump him.
On 11 Aug 2003 MISSING PIECE OF A PUZZLE from BOULDER, COLORADO, USA asked
DEAR DEAD LADY DI,
iVE BEEN DOING THIS GUY FOR AWHILE WE WILL JUST CALL HIM BOB…. HES NICE AND ALL AND HES REALLY REALLY SWEET WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER WHICH IS EVERYOTHER MONTH BUT WHEN HE IS IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS HE IS MEAN. DOES THIS MEAN HES USING ME FOR SEX?
Der!
On 29 Jul 2003 Jenna VanHouten from Ottawa,Ontario,Canada asked
Dear Departed Di,
I’m sorry to hear about your death but i have to ask you will i ever get a boyfriend?
Dear Jenna,
Yes, but you might want to work on your tact.
Yours, Diana
Jenna – yes. But he may be a cad. Consider getting a girlfriend, though she may also be a cad.
On 27 Jul 2003 Lovely Rose ([email protected]) from USA asked
Dear Departed Di,
I like to write poems and stories and I’ve posted many on websites such as poetry.com where do I go from here?
Find someone to stalk and send your poetry to.
(Not me, by the way.)
On 28 Jun 2003 Mr R. Murdoch from Australia, 51st US state asked
Dear Departed Di,
I’m the owner of a worldwide media network, which encompasses almost every TV, station, radio station and newspaper on the entire planet. Unfortunately, the upper house of a pesky south pacific US enclave known as Australia is refusing to pass laws that I have paid the government a great deal of money to draft, which would let me buy up the TV stations in the cities where I already own a newspaper (ie, all of them).
Without these laws I will be unable to impose my editorial control upon the citizens of this state, and they may start developing signs of independent thought and go native on me.
Can you suggest any other way in which I can buy them out?
Yours lovingly,
Rupert M.
Yours lovingly? Rack off, Rupes.
On 8 Jun 2003 DASH from DORVAL asked
Dear Departed Di,
Your oldest son is HOT! Can you use your powers to unite him with me.
You wouldn’t believe how often I’m asked something like this.
On 3 Jun 2003 Lucy from Melbourne, Australia asked
Dear Departed Di,
ive been doin some research for school on different websites and i seemed to have pondered upon this one. just out of curiousity, how the hec did you come up with this idea? and how do they contact you?
You get free wireless internet access in Heaven.
On 28 May 2003 your No DI from Alexandria Va USA asked
Dear Departed Di,
You Madum are no Di. I know this , but if you think you are , what happened to the Saphire earings you wore the night you died?
Why, do you want to borrow them?