On Sun, 26 Jan 2003, James Barron-fox from the Uk wrote

My DeaR Celestial Princess Diana
I can’t stop cracking off about you. it all started when my good friend nick
the greek told me had done it, and that you where really good. I have now and i
realise you are. Do you mind if I carry on doing it?

James, you’re only writing to me because you think it’s funny to write rude things to royalty, aren’t you? Stop it now.
I found that throwing myself down the stairs whenever I thought about masturbation was an effective remedy.
Sincerely, Diana

On Wed, 22 Jan 2003, olesssaah from u.s. writes

Dear Departed Di,
i loveyou?

You’re not sure? Life is short, make up your mind.
Sincerely, Diana

On Fri, 17 Jan 2003 Chester Wiggletiest (wiggles@aol.example.com) wrote

Okay, I have a personal question..
There’s this girl I really like a lot and she goes and tells her friends that
she wants to have sex with me, instead of telling me. But I feel these things
for her, and I never tell her these things to her on the phone, that I ‘ve
been having dreams about her, having sex with her. Should I tell this girl
these things I feel?

Her friends are telling you she fancies you? They’re either being really mean, or she likes you. From here, there’s no way of telling which is true, but what the heck, go for it.
Yours sincerely, Diana

On Thu, 16 Jan 2003 an anonymous coward asked

Dear Departed Di,
how is death?

It’s not too bad. Luckily my job answering your emails keeps it from being too boring.

The fashion doesn’t compare to life on earth, but every day is a good hair day.

Yours sincerely, Diana

On Fri, 10 Jan 2003 Vanessa from Mesa, AZ, 85202 wrote

Dear Departed Di,
When were you born?

Are you doing a school assignment, Vanessa? Shouldn’t you be learning how to use resources such as encyclopedia instead of running to the nearest grown-up and asking for help?

The answer, of course, is July 1, 1961.
Sincerely, Diana

On Thu, 9 Jan 2003 tommy manthey from marble,Mn 55764 wrote

Dear Departed Di,
do you do drugs.
do you miss your kids.do you miss earth.
sincerly
Tommy Manthey
age 10

On Sat, 4 Jan 2003, andy from tesco towers writes

Dear Departed Di,
im thinking of getting back with my ex wife
fergie what you think as my mother does’nt like her

Anything that annoys that old hag is good in my book. Get back with Fergie!
Yours, Di

On Thu, 21 Nov 2002, maryann from harrisburg,pa wrote

Dear Departed Di,
what is skip real name

Dear maryann,
Do you mean Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo?
Skippy doesn’t have a real name. Up to four wallabies, and a badly stuffed wallaby paw played the part of Skippy.
Sincerely, Diana

On Thu, 14 Nov 2002 cat from va wrote

Dear Departed Di,
how do i tell this really hot guy that i like him withou scaring him off

Study his body language to determine whether he reciprocates your feelings.
Sincerely, Diana

On Tue, 5 Nov 2002 kathy (katashley0@aol.example.com) from gadsden,alabama 35901

Dear Departed Di,
for a surprize birthday party is it proper to put on the invitation … small
gifts appreciated but not necessary?

It’s not entirely proper.
Sincerely, Diana