September 28, 00. Back to whinging about the way the Olympics have focused American attention on Australia. Ho ho ho, we have very amusing slang over here, but don't you think you'd be better off finding out the etymology of a particular phrase before making it up to to fit your ideas?
According to http://detnews.com/2000/features/0006/12/b01-72961.htm, the term "Grundies" provides an insight into our personal hygiene: "the sound of which, combined with the Pommy shower, gives some idea of Australian hygiene". Nice one, except that it's actually rhyming slang taken from the name of Reg Grundy (Grundy, undie, underpants). And gosh, it says that on the site he was using as a source, but it's not nearly as droll that way.
Perhaps his mind isn't subtle enough to cope with the difference his changing the definition of "Tall poppie syndrome" makes. He says it's "The practice of hating successful people (which must be practiced a lot if it's got a name)." while the website he got it from defines it as "the tendency to criticize successful people". Why let the truth get in the way of a good story?
Far worse, in my opinion, is the story written about the way Sydney crowds cheered on non-Australian teams in Olympic events. The rest of the world is used to Americans who've never travelled before and are stunned when they find out just how the other 6 billion people on the planet view them, but the bit that scared me, apart from the author's 'they don't like me so I won't play their game' tantie, was right at the end:
About the writer Gary Kamiya is Salon's executive editor.
On the non-whingy side, I'm really taken by this report from the BBC. Cute little slime! Smart little slime!
September 26, 00. So it's fair enough to stop saying something like 'it's too hard' to yourself and consider 'it's very challenging' instead, but these suggestions just go too far: http://www.daytradersbulletin.com/html/selftalk.html
Oh, sh*t Oh, poop [how's that going to help?] I'm stupid I'm learning [sometimes you're just stupid] This is a failure This is an opportunity to learn [that too, but it's still a failure] This is making me sick This is invigorating me inside and out [is that a euphemism for 'riding the porcelin bus'?] This is painful This is uncomfortable [this last one should be reserved for when your co-workers beat you up after you try the next suggestion].
"Practice softer self-talk. If you really feel like swearing, try some of these favorites I learned from my beloved grandfather: Dag-nabbit! Ding-bust-it! Ding-blast-it! Dad-gummit! You'd be surprised at the looks you get. "
I'm sure you will be.
September 25, 00. I don't know why I bothered:
Undeliverable: UNSUBSCRIBE
Undeliverable: Re: FREE!!! Olympic mobile alerts sent to your mobile
September 24, 00. I'm such a whingy bitch something. (I sent an 'unsubscribe' message separately).
Subject: Re: FREE!!! Olympic mobile alerts sent to your mobile
To: smsfeedback@news.com.au> When you subscribed to a News Interactive site you told us that
> you would like to be informed of updates and new services.Actually, I doubt that I asked for information about sports-related services for mobile phones. Legally, your mail may not be spam, but ethically I consider to be spam and in that light will reconsider my opinion of news.com.au.
> If you would like to be removed from this special group,
> please send an e-mail to smsfeedback@news.com.au
> with "UNSUBSCRIBE"
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September 18, 00. Seeing ourselves through American eyes is always scary. It's really weird seeing the things they feel they have to explain - "there are no skunks or squirrels in Australia". Everyone's so obsessed with all the deadly creatures we have, probably because they all think we live surrounded by them in the Outback.
"Beer commercials in Australia actually show people drinking beer. U.S. television ads do not show consumption of beer."
This I didn't know: "A typical Aussie Christmas is spent on the beach eating seafood." Yeah, and we use the pouch of our pet kangaroo to store our Fosters. AUSTRALIANS DO NOT DRINK FOSTERS. IT'S A BIG PRACTICAL JOKE FROM FOSTER'S MARKETING DEPARTMENT. NO AUSTRALIAN WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD DRINKING FOSTERS BECAUSE IT'S CRAP BEER.
I know I shouldn't yell but I really resent this myth.
http://www.nbcolympics.com/'s Australian slang section seems to have been written in 1942 or by Alf from Home and Away. We don't drink Foster's and we don't call chicks Sheila's, ok? A lot of us do say 'mate', but we rarely if ever put shrimps on barbies.
September 14, 00. It's time to whinge about the Australian Olympic uniforms. This a tradional Aussie pasttime isn't as necessary this year because the sporting uniforms aren't that bad if you can ignore the yellow. The volunteer uniforms, otoh, are appalling. I can't believe people nice enough to volunteer get stuck with outfits that are meant to add "colour and visual energy to the Games venues and public areas throughout the city." Surely that's what those banners that go on light poles are for? I do like the way the waves rise up to touch each nipple, I'm sure that's exactly the area the vollies wanted attention drawn to.
September 10, 00. This might be one for Australians only - have you ever really noticed the graphic on a bottle of Adam's Ale brand water? It's a picture of a topless guy, head down and hands raised in the air, which is all very well because the original Adam would have been naked and probably quite surprised to suddenly exist. It's the fact that he seems to be looking down and saying 'oh my god, I've got a penis!' that really bothers me. Are we also meant to be excited by his discovery in some subliminally-receptive part of our brain?
September 4, 00. This is the worst headline I've ever seen in The Age:
Wife recalls life before cod horror
The actual article is the usual quality you'd expect from the Sunday Age. That was sarcasm, in case you missed it.